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Never try sleeping with these. Great when used in moderation, and as speakers for your own background music (that's how I'm using em right now), but for a long period of time?
No.
Although it might be because I have very small ears..........
Forget that.
Anyway,
I woke up and immediately after taking off....said headphones....... I thought about how everything has changed this Sophmore year compared to my Freshman year, and my middle school days.
Looking back, I realized that, I don't know, quite frankly,
I have pretty much no, or a very little amount of, friends.
Now, for anyone who's reading this who talks to me on a day to day basis (all two of you) and is saying through the computer screen or cell phone or mobile internet viewing device "I'm your friend.",
No.
It doesn't work that way.
I've changed dramatically in one year, and one of the things I realized was this:
People, mostly teens, use the word "friends" too lightly.
I mean, cmon, do you honestly consider everyone you see in a day "a friend"?
I'm not the kind of guy that says "Ok, if you're in this close a proximity for more than fourteen minutes, talking to the same people I was talking to five minutes ago, and we have talked within the last ten, you are automatically my friend."
Now that doesn't mean I don't like you.
It just means I've become more distant, and (will not admit this in person) probably more insecure.
But, in the words of the illustrious Grampa Freeman, "I keeps it Real."
Back to the point,
Ever had a moment when you looked around, saw people, and realized you're all alone?
Yeah,
That's what happens you join a group of people that started their formation without you.
Truth be told,
I lost every person I knew would have my back,
Help me when I was down,
(funny thing is, for one of them, I didn't figure this out until the last days of any of us seeing each other was counting down quickly. Don't doubt every person you know, including the ones that tick you off and pick on you the most. Those are the ones that will protect more than the rest in an instant.)
Who I could trust with anything and everything. (Well, not everything. You know how people are.)
That was middle school. And that is over.
Freshman Year: Started off as hell.
Or so I felt.
In actuallity, I was accepted quicker than even others would have imagined.
And I hated all of yall!! (Just kidding.)
And I remember the first real close friend I had there.
I actually looked up to him.
Through him, I met the group.
And through him, I learned how to not care what others think about you.
But beside him was a boy who I met through the same guy who introduced me to him.
At first, this guy was annoying as hell.
It got to a point where I almost wanted to, how do I put this unviolently, wanted to punch him in the mouth. Yeah, that'll get the message through. (So angry was I. That's sarcasm by the way.)
But it was like the year after, he had changed completely.
I mean, he was actually standable to be around.
Now, that's a rarity among people.
When you find someone who, without you doing a thing, changed from someone who you couldn't stand to listen to,
To becoming someone you find............funny..............and insightful (Current events-wise).............it hurts admitting it.
We're actually pretty cool now.
And last is a guy who I probably say I won't forget and will, but if I do, it'll probably be because, well, I don't know actually.
To the story,
I'm not going to lie,
He never admitted it (then again, he never denied it), but he didn't, and probably still doesn't, like me that much.
But I actually found him to be a funny guy in person, interesting when talking to one on one recently.
(Funny side note. First time I got to the High school, (remember, didn't like it) I assume it was him that I saw, and I remember saying to myself "Wow. The only other actual black guy here. And that's coming from me.")
He was unique in the sense that he wasn't like the rest of the people there. He was, case closed, normal-er (yes it's a word. No don't go looking in the dictionary!) than the rest of the people there.
And he always had an apperance of calmness, even though he had an aura of anger and stress.
That, I respected.
These were the people I considered my new friends.
The people I knew I could trust.
So what happened?
Simple.
We lost one.
No, no, he didn't die. I saw him just the other day, he ain't dead.
I mean, he left and the first guy I was talking about I've lost completely all respect for. (and not for the reasons you, the people who "know" me, is thinking of)
On top of that,
When you're looking for something to do,
By yourself,
You realize,
That you're completely, and utterly,
Solo.
That's When You Start The Fight To Stand Alone.
"Life is starting to feel like a stand-alone complex........."
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